11/17/11- msg from Insoo Kim unni:

okay. i know you’ve probably heard this before, but STOP. don’t do that anymore.
you’re beautiful and wonderful and funny and smart and talented etc etc
and with anyone Lydia,
they GET to be friends with you
its a 2 way thing
not only do you get to be friends with THEM
but they get to be friends with you
a totally wonderful person
you have to find your worth in Christ

—

one of the things i read for encouragement & reminder. thank you =)

practical resolutions:

-i want to pray more. yeah i pray before meals and before i sleep but the quantity of how much I tell Him & the quality of the prayers itself have died down so much since college started. i want to keep Him more involved in my life.

-i definitely need to raise my GPA. so spring semester, i gotta step my game up for real. all A’s, lehgoo!

-i miss working out all the time like i did my last 2 yrs in highschool. so this year i want to start going to the UF gym more often & take advantage of other sports and classes they offer. hoping to lose about 10-15lbs by summer break. be more healthy.

-to be more active on campus. i was too preoccupied with getting adjusted to the work itself that i hardly participated in anything besides church activities. not that it’s a bad thing but, i want to meet other new people as well :)

-treat my mom with more respect; be a better daughter

-sing more, read more, write more, practice an instrument

ideal resolutions:

-more confidence; being more comfortable in my own skin. my self-esteem has gotten alot better in the past 2-3 yrs but i know i still have much room for improvement. yes, to truly love myself.

-to have more patience and love unconditionally. people are never going to reach your expectations, not everyone is going to acknowledge your sincerity & kindness, and not everyone is going to love & care for you as much as you might. knowing that, to still have patience with them, to never give up, and to continue to love them regardless.

-more positivity. gotta keep smiling and laughing. hardships are always going to come, but with God, we will overcome.

Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

“Lydia, I’m not saying this just as your friend and someone who cares for you but really, you need to stop being worried about everyone and everything else. You’re the kind of person who puts so much on yourself. You’re not superwoman, okay? I understand that you try to do your best to be that ‘friend’ you want to be to everyone but that doesn’t mean you’re responsible for their happiness. You’re not suppose to hurt yourself for the sake of sustaining friendships, relationships, peace, whatever. Bluntly speaking, half of those people don’t realize how much you sacrifice, how much you try. Seriously, half of those people will take advantage of who you are, whether it’s intentional or not. And there are things that you just can’t change, Lyds. You need to learn how to take care of yourself. I know you had to grow up fast because of your circumstances as you were growing up, and in that way I know you had to be strong. But really Lydia, you’re…fragile. Other people may not see it, but I know it.” -Stephan

email i got from a friend today. i don’t even know what to say. but for now all i can say is, thanks stephan. people like you take my breath away.

4 Jan 2012, 10:30 AM-

I just got home from Jeju Sauna. I’m ridiculously tired but I have a long day ahead of me! Yesterday was definitely an interesting and fun day. Justine came over and we ate lunch together, then we went to Publix, walked around H-Mart hoping there would be samples (but samples are usually on weekends only, boo), browsed around Missy, chilled at Suno, met up with Rebecca at the norebang (karaoke), ate pho at Saigon Cafe, went Quickly to get bubble tea, stopped by her house to pick up her sister, chilled at 7Coffee, then finally went to Jeju Sauna and spent the night. A good day/night spent with my friend I knew since middle school :)

4:06 PM-

Right now I’m just chilling at home with my mom after doing a whole bunch of random stuff. After I got home this morning from Jeju Sauna, I ate breakfast with my mom, then we went to get an oil change for her car and a car wash for my car, got a hair cut, went to the mall and walmart, ate icecream waffles at Arte3Cafe, and then came home. Gonna go back out later for dinner at IRON AGE! Beast Mode: ON

;enjoying the last few days left here in Georgia <3